Getting Ideas

So, its been quite a while since I last really wrote anything. I have done some serious thinking about who I am, how I see myself in the Army and where I think I need to go. I was invited this past spring to a luncheon hosted by USO in NYC. USO was hosting the Woman of the Year Luncheon. I was honored that I was able to attend and represent West Point. I met a few lovely ladies and heard the guest speaker and how her career in the Navy has been successful. While at this luncheon and speaking about my career, I had a moment. I realized that my happiness and how I should view success as a women who has a career in the Army was based on such silly standards. I had realized that instead of trying to be Lara Croft I had to be simply myself. I could and can be successful by aligning my career path with what I believe as a Christian. Let me explain, I truly believe that God in his great plan and mercy created the most perfectly flawed human beings in the Garden of Eden. He created Adam and in His plan created Adam with some flaws. In order to complete Adam, God created Eve. Eve was his match, his companion that completed him. Eve too had flaws but they were flaws that complemented Adam. So if we were created to complement Adam and not created to over shadow Adam, we cannot be Lara Croft. We have a role as a woman and that role is glorious and has purpose. Instead of trying to work so hard and ending every day with disappointment and sadness (because I am trying to be Croft), I needed to realign what was important. My success is how I can serve and be glorious in the design that God created for women. I can be beautiful, strong and successful without trying to be Croft or better yet, GI Jane. I left the luncheon on lighter feet, a great sense of burden had been lifted off of my shoulders and on my heart. I realized that trying to be the next successful Army Officer based on male standards isn't realistic. I am not a male and what I can accomplish and achieve is based on me being a woman; the perfectly flawed portion of Adam to complement him to achieve the glory that God has designed for me. My Adam is my husband, Lawrence. Who pretty much understood this so long ago. I just didn't get it. I kept pushing forward with aggressiveness, eagerness and hard work. I thought that as long as I work hard and keep pushing forward, I had to be doing well. My efforts would be recognized and that I would finally achieve that level of success that I was so longing for. I wanted to be in the top 10% of all officers, I wanted to be the best officer that my commander could count on. Regardless of the job and my gender, because I was so good, I could do anything. I could be a successful combatant commander. The sad truth simply because I am not male/combat arms I wouldn't be the top 10%. I had finally accepted that the top 10% could be achieved but not based on the standards set by men, but rather the design set by God. My role was to serve as the best officer that I could be in a support position. I am the flawed woman that was created for the man. Now, I am not by any means saying that we don't strive to work hard. I am not saying that we cannot be successful. What I am saying, just as I realized that we have a divine role that was designed for us by God, men have a job too. Men need to understand their role is to lead the house, to be the spiritual leader and also to recognize that being the lead (combat arms) that those that serve in positions of support are due your respect and courteousness. Since that day this past spring, I have been growing my thoughts, ideas on how to strengthen what I believe. I also understand there will be many that won't believe in the same things. There are those that will continue to push for women to rise to the tops of all positions and ladders as well as being Infantry Soldiers. I truly wish the best for anyone, but I know my success lies in the design that was created for me by God.